


Not again

by Youremyalways



Category: The 100, the hundred - Fandom
Genre: Bellarke, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 04:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15597957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youremyalways/pseuds/Youremyalways
Summary: Spec. Fic for 5x13Definitely not gonna happen but a girl can dream.Basically this is a continuation of the moment in the episode trailer where Clarke is on the ship and Bellamy is like “I can’t leave my friends!” And I just kinda steered it towards bellarke quite a bit, so enjoy.





	Not again

“Bellamy, please!” Clarke yelled from yards away, standing at the entrance of the ship.

Any second the doors would close and it would take off. 

Any second.

But space kru wasn’t back yet. His friends weren’t back yet, and he couldn’t leave them behind.

“Bellamy!” She yelled again, fear pulling at her.

“I am not leaving my friends!” He yelled, voice raw with emotion.

“They’ll be back, you need to get inside!”

“I can’t leave them! I can’t… I can’t do that again!” 

Her face fell when she realized what was plaguing him. 

“You did the best that you could.” It was a softer statement this time, not a sob or a scream.

“It wasn’t good enough! I could barely live with myself for leaving you behind! I can’t go through that again, so I am staying here until they get back!” He turned to look at her and just then noticed that she had gotten closer to him.

“Okay.” She nodded, swallowing hard.

That wasn’t at all what he expected her to say.

“Good.” He simply stated before turning back around to face the barren earth.

“But I’m staying with you.” He heard her footsteps coming towards him.

“Clarke-”

“I’m staying.” 

He could tell from her tone that it wasn’t a battle he would win. When she set her mind to something, she accomplished it. 

“You are one of the most stubborn people I have ever met.” He said, without any menace whatsoever.

“Six years changed me a lot, but I guess that has stayed the same.” 

She was next to him now, looking down at her boots in the red soil.

“I’m sorry. For leaving you behind. You could have died and that would have been on me. I was stupid and my vision was blocked and I was-”

“You were protecting Madi,” He finished her statement, “I was angry at first, but… when I think about Octavia or one of my friends in the same position as Madi, I would have done the same thing.” He lowered his eyes from the landscape in front of him to catch her gaze.

“I can’t blame you for wanting to protect who you love, Clarke. And i’m so damn relieved that you’re alive and that you’re okay that I just… I don’t want to be angry.” 

“Me neither.” She spoke, voice getting slightly clouded with emotion.

He just nodded and broke her gaze, turning to look at the skyline, waiting to see the silhouettes of six people on the horizon.

“There was never a time to tell you this before. I was waiting for the right moment.” Clarke started and the taller man turned to her with curiosity on his face.

“You asked me how I survived being alone on earth. I only told you a half truth.”

He just furrowed his eyebrows and waited for her to continue.

“Madi did keep me alive, she kept me company and gave me someone to protect and care for. But… what I didn’t tell you was that the first year-” She choked and had to stop talking to take a deep breath.

“The first year I was alone. I didn’t find her for a year, Bellamy.” She cried and had to turn to look away from him.

“Oh my god, Clarke-” He turned to her with a slack jaw, face tilting just slightly.

He looked so raw and vulnerable.

“I was so alone,” She sobbed, “I was starving, I was thirsty. I missed all of you so much it made me nauseous, but there was nothing to throw up so I just kept gagging. The more I cried the more dehydrated I would become-” She broke into intense sobs and he, on instinct, pulled her into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her like he would die if he didn’t. She cried into his shoulder and he let her. As her body shook against him he felt tears of his own make their way down his tan cheeks.

“You saved my life.” She whispered near his ear and he was confused again.

“I think you’ve got it backwards.” He said with a small, sad smile as she broke away from his embrace.

“No,” She shook her head, raising her hand to wipe tears out from under her eyes, “I pulled a gun to my head.”

His heart broke.

“I had it pressed to my skin, right here,” She brought her fingers up to her temple in the shape of a gun, “I was gonna do it. I was so close to pulling the trigger so many times.”

“The only thing… the ONLY thing that kept me going was a radio, a piece of crap thing I found in the rover. Everytime I found myself wanting to pull the trigger, instead I talked to you.”

Tears came down his cheeks like rivers, dripping off his chin and soaking the mud below him. 

“Knowing you were out there, knowing that what I did was worth it, it was the only thing that made me want to live.” She continued and his gaze dropped to the ground.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke.” 

“By the end, when Eligius came down. There were 2199 calls I made to you.”

“You…” He gulped, feeling his chest tighten, “You almost…” 

He couldn’t say the words, couldn’t think of her wanting her life to end, “2199 times?” 

She nodded and watched as he cried in front of her.

“So enough with this ‘I saved your life’ crap, okay? Because Bellamy, as far as I’m concerned, you’re the one that saved me 2199 times over.”

“Quite the hero, huh?” The sad smile was painted back onto his lips.

She smiled back at him, lips curling ever so slightly. Her vision was clouded by tears, but it was nothing that could block out the sheer depth of emotion on his face.

“I’m really glad you didn’t pull the trigger,” He added, bringing his hand up to where her hand was before.

He lightly pressed his fingertips to her temple, slowly moving them to her hairline. With a gentle pressure, he soothingly moved her hair behind her ear. The smallest, most innocent touch suddenly felt painstakingly intimate. 

“Me too.” Clarke simply stated, closing her eyes and just enjoying his presence. 

He slowly leaned down and lowered his lips to her forehead. He began pressing a gentle, sweet kiss to her temple, the same place she almost used to kill herself. 

“We’ve got a lot to talk about.” Bellamy pointed out as he released his mouth from her skin.

And just as Clarke opened her mouth to speak, they both heard screams come from far beyond the ship.

“Bellamy!” It was Raven, running towards them with five other pairs of legs behind her.

And just as quickly as the moment came, it left. It was okay though, because they both knew that on the new ship, they would have all the time in the world to talk. 

The sun was setting, but it would rise again. 

No more loss today.


End file.
